Dual....:-)
Nicole vs. Life
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
They have beer where we have blood.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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