so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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