And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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