There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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