dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
