The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
