Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
