If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the day after is always just damage control
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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