I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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