I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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