how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
