I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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