woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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