I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
