I heard we made out
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
