1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
