..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize