So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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