i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
