I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
