he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
tell me about the fingering
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
