I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
