FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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