Your face is a jimmy john
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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