I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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