I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
