Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
how does that bad decision feel?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
