"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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