Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
