so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
