How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
