I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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