nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
