He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize
