What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
