You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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