from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
