Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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