i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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