can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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