With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize