Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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