Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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