I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we're making bets on your personal life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
