What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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