i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
