I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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