The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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