I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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