He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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