So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
