you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
