shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
