Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
