So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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