youre lurking in front of me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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