omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
