So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
