I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
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