my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
