matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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