I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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