road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
