those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
