And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
