I've blown a few things in my day
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize