Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
