I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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