She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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