Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize