is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
