Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
