I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
