I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
