just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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