Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
